The Wanlorn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
the_wanlorn) wrote2004-09-04 11:57 pm
the_wanlorn) wrote2004-09-04 11:57 pm
Entry tags:
GAHHHHHHHHHHHH
I fucking hate this.
And it's not fair that I hate it because it's no one's fault and there's nothing I can do about it, it's just life. ANd it makes me feel sorta ungrateful.
I don't even know where to start or if I even should but it's all one big mass of pissed off frustration. Or something. I'm not even sure what I'm feeling. ARGH.
I hate talking to Jon for, like, only 20 minutes at night. But it's not like we're even talking when we're on the phone, so why should I care? And his phone get shitty reception in his dorm so I keep having to ask him to repeat stuff anyway which makes me sound deaf. And I'm not even like, "Say what?" every time he breaks up cuz then he'd have to say most things multiple times and probably just get sick of trying to talk to me alltogether.
I hate that I can't go see him whenever I want. I hate that he can't come see me whenever he wants. Assuming he wants to. But of course he does. I think.
I wish it were still June. I wish it stayed June forever. I wish I didn't hate change. I wish I could be more grateful for what there still is.
Gahhhhhhhhh Horrid horrible needy ungrateful girlfriend am I.
And it's not fair that I hate it because it's no one's fault and there's nothing I can do about it, it's just life. ANd it makes me feel sorta ungrateful.
I don't even know where to start or if I even should but it's all one big mass of pissed off frustration. Or something. I'm not even sure what I'm feeling. ARGH.
I hate talking to Jon for, like, only 20 minutes at night. But it's not like we're even talking when we're on the phone, so why should I care? And his phone get shitty reception in his dorm so I keep having to ask him to repeat stuff anyway which makes me sound deaf. And I'm not even like, "Say what?" every time he breaks up cuz then he'd have to say most things multiple times and probably just get sick of trying to talk to me alltogether.
I hate that I can't go see him whenever I want. I hate that he can't come see me whenever he wants. Assuming he wants to. But of course he does. I think.
I wish it were still June. I wish it stayed June forever. I wish I didn't hate change. I wish I could be more grateful for what there still is.
Gahhhhhhhhh Horrid horrible needy ungrateful girlfriend am I.