More Top Fives

[the_wanlorn]

Oh my god I did not actually think guilting you people into entertaining me was going to work. NOW I HAVE TO GO ANSWER ALL YOURS DON'T I?


My top five fantasy authors are almost all urban fantasy. I THINK THIS SAYS A LOT ABOUT ME.

5. Terry Pratchett (author of the Discworld series) Basically, Terry captures my heart due to his excessive use of footnotes. I have a thing for footnotes, okay. I haven't actually read all that many books by him, but what I have I've resoundly loved to death.


4. JRR Tolkein (Lord of the Rings obviously) I read LOTR during my formative years, and then kept reading them over and over again because I loved them so much. That said, when I read them now, I start to notice more and more flaws, which is why he's so low on the list.


3. Carrie Vaughn (author of the Kitty Norville books) This is a series that's run past its best-by date, to be honest. It should have ended at least two books sooner than, well, it's not even ended yet, so. More than two books sooner. That said, I love that it shows epic character growth and how fucking creepy pack dynamics are and how just because you start out an annoying weak character doesn't mean you have to stay that way.


2. Seanan McGuire (author of Rosemary and Rue) Seanan's book is not out yet. I have the privelege of already having read it, and you guys, it is amazing. She manages to avoid 99.9999999% of the Issues I have with urban fantasy, she tells a great story, and is all-around totally fucking awesome. I'm so excited for more of her books.


1. Ilona Andrews (Author of Magic Bites) OH MAN HOW MUCH DO I LOVE KATE DANIELS? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS. SHE IS HARDCORE AND BADASS AND HAS A SECRET AND KICKS ASS AND DOESN'T LET NOBODY TELL HER WHAT TO DO AND *__________* I rec the fuck out of these books. They're another series that avoids the Issues I have with urban fantasy quite well. GOD I LOVE THEM. DID I MENTION SHE'S FUNNY? AND WONDERFUL? &THESE BOOKS;

OH MAN TRUE BLOOD, HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THIS HILARIOUS SHOW.

5. Bill Compton is the most hilarious character I have ever seen. I think this list could also be named "Ways in which Bill is hilarious".


4. "Also, we recycle in this house."


3. The hilarious little family that is Bill, Sookie, and Jessica. HOW HILARIOUS ARE BILL AND SOOKIE AS PARENTS. BILL DOES NOT WANT HER LOOKING LIKE A SLATTERN, AND SOOKIE WANTS TO BE HER FRIEND, AND OH MAN IT IS HILARIOUS. I look forward to the lolz that I'm sure will continue from this delightful group of characters.


2. BILL MOTHERFUCKING COMPTON SINGING SHOWTUNES. THAT IS ALL.


1. Sookie motherfucking Stackhouse manages to be both a delicate southern belle and a totally fucking kickass character. She's not afraid to tell people to stop being jerks to her, and it's totally awesome.

I WILL NOT LIE, PRETENDING TO BE MARRIED FICS ARE ONE OF MY MOST FAVORITE THINGS EVER. And most of the fics I would like to see are from shows that have already done pretending to be married episodes, I just happen to think they didn't do enough of them. ON TO THE LIST.

5. Psych, Shawn/Gus. SHAWN WOULD BE THE MOST ANNOYING, OVER-THE-TOP PRETENDING TO BE MARRIED PERSON EVER, AND GUS WOULD BE CONSTANTLY TELLING HIM TO KNOCK IT OFF AND STOP THAT AND SHAWN WE ARE NOT REALLY MARRIED >:( It would be hilarious, and I'm certain Psych will eventually give me an episode where they pretend to be married.


4. The Kate Daniels books, Kate/Curran. I would pay good money to see the two of them have to pretend to be married. Kate would try to kill him. It would be the most hilarious thing ever, and I would never stop laughing.


3. Bones, Bones/Booth. Bones is basically fanfic on my TV, and I love it so fucking much. They've done AUs and pretending to be dating, and clearly there needs to be more fic combining the two, where Booth and Bones have to go undercover as ______ and pretend to be married and there are just hilarious, hilarious hijinks.


2. X-files, Mulder/Scully. HOW HILARIOUS WAS ARCADIA? THAT EPISODE IS BASICALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITES. MULDER PUSHING SCULLY'S BUTTONS WAS HILARIOUS, SUCLLY REFUSING TO PUT UP WITH HIM WAS HILARIOUS, THEM BEING ALL WORRIED ABOUT EACH OTHER WAS HILARIOUS. OH GOD X-FILES HOW IS IT YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE ME SO HAPPYYYYY. I would love to see more fic of the adventures of the two of them pretending to be married.


1. Leverage, Parker/Hardison. I don't give a rat's ass that they just did an episiode of this. There was not nearly enough hilarious hijinks. YOU CAN DO BETTER, LEVERAGE, I KNOW YOU CAN.

5. Spider-man Noir. Four delicious issues of an AU of Spider-man, set in 1933. AUNT MAY IS AMAZING AND OH MAN DO I WIFE HER SO HARD. This is the best of the Noir line; the others range from okay to terrible.


4. Alias & The Pulse. Look, if you don't love Jessica Jones I am IRL defranding you. These are the two comics that focus on her, and they are fucking amazing. She's both an intrepid girl detective AND an intrepid girl reporter. HOW AWESOME IS THAT.


3. The Immortal Iron Fist (2009) "Oh! My name is Daniel Rand. I am Iron Fist and I know kung fu. HI-YAHH!" &DANNY;


2. New Avengers. It's about a thosuand times better than Young Avengers because Luke Cage is in charge. He is so amazing. *_____* If you backread my comics tag, I've posted hilarious caps from it before. And I don't think I ever bothered pasting Batman's face over Cap's, so they should be safe for you to look at.


1. Daredevil v2. LIKE YOU DID NOT KNOW DAREDEVIL WOULD BE NUMBER ONE. OH MAN IF YOU WANT I CAN REC SPECIFIC ISSUES. Definitely avoid v1, because that's Frank Miller and WHORESWHORESWHORES. And avoid teh Kevin Smith issues because as much as I love him, his comics suck. IF I MANAGE TO GET THREE DIFFERENT PEOPLE INTO DAREDEVIL TODAY IT WILL BE THE BEST DAY EVER.

This list would be easier if I knew how much of a comics n00b you are, ishies, and what kind of stuff you like. I mean, Secret Six is awesome, but maybe you do not like villains! SO!

5. Birds of Prey! It is longish, but it's over, so you don't have to worry about keeping up with an ongoing. IT IS ABOUT THE AWESOME LADIES OF DC COMICS AND MY COMICS WIFE, BARBARA GORDON, AND HOW AWESOME SHE IS, AND HOW TOTALLY FUCKING ROCKING SUPERHEROINES ARE. Seriously, they kick major fucking ass. Gail Simone did a lot of it, and I wife her so hard you have no idea. She is the best comics writer ever who is not named Bendis.


4. Deadpool. Specifically, the Deadpool and Death Annual, and Gail Simone's entire run. I JUST. OH DEADPOOL, YOU POOR BB. He's so adorable and insane and wonderful and I wife him so hard.


3. New Avengers! It's like the Avengers, but better, because Cap dies halfway through. There are only 50-odd issues out right now, but it is an ongoing. The storylines are amazing, the characters are wonderful, it heavily features Luke Cage who is marvelous. Watching the New Avengers deal with the big Marvel crossovers is absolutely amazing, and you should really read this.


2. Alias/The Pulse. JESSICA JONES IS MADE OF LOVE AND WONDERFUL THINGS. INTREPID GIRL DETECTIVE REPORTERS! ALCOHOLISM! LUKE CAGE! God she is amazing and I love her and want to be her and *_________* Both of these are short series (28 issues and 14 issues, I believe), so you could read them quickly.


1. MOTHERFUCKING DAREDEVIL. LOOK AT THIS ESSAY I WROTE OVER AT DREAMWIDTH.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT IN COMIC BOOKS. JESUS IT'S LIKE YOU THINK I READ ANYTHING ELSE. Literally I keep going "Oh I know! I'll put down- wait, shit, she's a comic book character." :(

5. Jackie (Nurse Jackie). Unlike House, who I wouldn't want working on me in real life but I love to pieces on the show, Jackie is someone I both love to pieces on the show and would want working on me IRL. She's the perfect mix of no-nonsense and caring about patients. God I love her.


4. Kate Daniels (Ilona Andrews' Kate Daniels books). I talked about her in this entry, and basically she's the baddest ass to ever badass. I want to be her.


3. Luidaeg (Seanan McGuire's Toby Daye books) She's a fucking badass cranky sea witch, a First Born, and is absolutely amazing. I love her to pieces and wish the books were "The Adventures of Toby, Luidaeg, and Tybalt" instead of just "The Adventures of Toby Daye". GOD LUIDAEG IS AMAZING. I wish she was my bff. *___*


2. PARKER (Leverage). I've already talked about her. She's afraid of horses! She likes tight spaces! SHE'S ADORABLE AND INSANE.


1. DANA SCULLY (X-files). What can I say? I'm on an X-files kick right now. I LOVE HER SO HARD YOU GUYS.

Okay, this list isn't actually in order because I fucking love all these moments equally. I JUST. &THE X-FILES; They're also mostly shippy moments. lol my true colors showing through.

• That time in the first episode that Mulder calls Scully at butt-fuck o'clock in the morning to talk to her. They barely know each other and he's already calling her when he can't sleep. *_____*


• That time in Arcadia they had to pretend to be married and Mulder was super annoying and it was marvelous.


• That time in the second episode that Scully was already saying that the Bureau was out to get "us". Not "you", it's already an "us". *_____*


• HOW DO I CHOOSE JUST ONE MOMENT FROM BAD BLOOD? THAT ENTIRE FUCKING EPISODE MAKES ME FLAIL WITH GLEE EVERY SINGLE TIME I WATCH IT, I LOVE IT SO MUCH. OH GOD.


• That time they almost kissed in, well, thirty different episiodes and the movie. I just. It makes me little shipper heart squeal with glee every time they get close to being ~*~together~*~.

Okay, here's the thing. I don't actually read many comics where there are sidekicks. That's mostly a DC thing, and, well, the DC stuff that I read is ensemble things. Marvel doesn't do sidekicks, as a rule. So, um. THIS LIST IS A BIT SPARSE. Also not in any order.

1. Dick Grayson as Robin I. I, uh, don't have much to say about him, other than that he was the first sidekick I ever read about and he was amazing and wonderful and I loved him.


2. Barbara Gordon as Batgirl. LOOK. I LOVE BABS. OKAY. IF I COULD PUT HER ON EVERY LIST I WOULD.


3. Cass as Robin. Cass is the least annoying of the subsequent Robins. I liked her a lot, even after she went crazy.


4. Stephanie as Robin. ARE YOU NOTICING A PATTERN HERE?


5. My Mary Sue. LOOK. DAREDEVIL NEEDS A SIDEKICK AND CLEARLY I AM THE ONE BEST SUITED FOR THE JOB.

Comments

[hotforbabyleg.livejournal.com]

but i'm confused now

if he dies how can jessica get married to him

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

...

[hotforbabyleg.livejournal.com]

WELL, IT HAPPENED THEORETICALLY AND I DARE YOU TO FIND ME A MORE BEAUTIFUL AND ENDURING LOVE STORY THAN JEWEL BECOMING AN AVENGER AND MAGICALLY SAVING EVERYTHING AND THEN CAP AND JESSICA JUST KIND OF KISSING FOR NO REASON.

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

I am so horrified right now I can't even speak.

[hotforbabyleg.livejournal.com]

wait, did you not read the What If story where this actually happened, or are you just horrified that I would be godawful enough to bring it up? D:

or is it the icon because if so i have no sympathy.

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

I avoid most things involving Cap, tbh, so no, I never did read that What If, and I'm sure that if I had it would have given me a stroke.

[hotforbabyleg.livejournal.com]

it was something else, memer. something else.

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

SOMETHING HORRIFYING.

[hotforbabyleg.livejournal.com]

AND HERE I AM AT WORK AND UNABLE TO POST PICTURES OF THEIR BEAUTIFUL UNION :(

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

THANK GOD.