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The Wanlorn ([personal profile] the_wanlorn) wrote2005-01-19 05:07 pm
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Brilliant Idea!!!


Okay, so. The US is made up of states. And all these states are funny shapes.

Following me so far?

None of them are the same size, either. Like, California's the bully, and RI's the geeky little kid that gets his lunch money stolen from him. No one ever remembers Alaska and Hawaii's the creepy foreign kid no one likes to be friends with, but everyone'll talk to.

So.

When we got civilized, how come we didn't say:
Civilized Person 1: "Dude... it would be so much easier and cooler if all these states were the same size."
Civilized Person 2: "Yar! And maps would be easier to make if they were all RECTANGULAR"
Civilized Person 3: "So why don't we square everything off... and declare the outlying bits of land that don't quite fit just General US Land"
Civilized Person 2: "And we can divide it all up into RECTANGLES! With equal areas, of course."
Civilized Person 1: "Heh, let's just give RI a little thin strip of land down one coast. ::snicker::"
Civilized Person 3: "Hey! I'm from RI! Why don't we do that to Cali, eh??"
Civilized Person 1: "Cuz we're cooler than you."

And then a fistfight would break out between Civilized Person 1 and Civilized Person 3. And Civlized Person 2 gets hit by a bus on the way home and dies while being lifeflighted to the hospital cuz the helicopter can't find anywhere to land cuz there's too many buildings. So the cops come and send Civilized Person 1 and Civilized Person 2 to jail for attempted murder and no one ever mentions dividing up the US into equal-area'd rectangles ever again.

I think I just answered my own question...

Jose upon having this idea explained to him:
Jose: wheer do you come up with this crap?
Me: Usually standing in front of the microwave waiting for food to cook.
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[identity profile] piratezim.livejournal.com 2005-01-20 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
probably because california wasn't even owned by anyone when rhode island's borders were established.

they mostly used geographic landmarks to establish boundaries, such as rivers and trees and mountains and shit, but later, they used parallels and medians to define borders (which is why oklahoma has a straight western border).

also, both rhode island and california totally suck ASS.

[identity profile] the-wanlorn.livejournal.com 2005-01-20 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
Well, yeah, I know that's what they used. That's why I specified after we were "civilized". Like, when we got computers and airplanes and stuff...

[identity profile] piratezim.livejournal.com 2005-01-20 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
cuz we're set in our ways, dammit. what about those people who live on the ohio border, and like living in ohio?

[identity profile] the-wanlorn.livejournal.com 2005-01-20 01:13 am (UTC)(link)
Well, they'd just have to deal!! I'm sure the people in Sri Lanka liked their homes, but the tidal wave ate them just the same!

(Anonymous) 2005-01-20 02:45 am (UTC)(link)
*tsunami

(Anonymous) 2005-01-20 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
probably because california wasn't even owned by anyone when rhode island's borders were established.

*Except Spain*


--Lando

ps our names rhyme we must be soulmates.

[identity profile] piratezim.livejournal.com 2005-01-20 05:58 am (UTC)(link)
spain doesn't count since they cheat.

(Anonymous) 2005-01-20 05:54 pm (UTC)(link)
at cards?

--Lando

[identity profile] the-wanlorn.livejournal.com 2005-01-20 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Are you guys seriously having a conversation on my LJ... that doesn't include me?! =-O

(Anonymous) 2005-01-21 06:03 am (UTC)(link)
No, they were being smart about it! If some Portuguese guy got eaten by bloodthirsty cannibals on a mission Spain financed, so what? If it had been a Spaniard then they would have looked like pricks. Or something.

--Lando

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