lol dead relatives

[the_wanlorn]

So, my grandpa on my father's side died last night? And my dad just called me at work to tell me?


On the evil grandparents side, that makes two down (out of three total dead grandparents), one to go.

I mean, this is a man who abused my nana (who, in retrospect, wasn't evil, just crazy and as ambivalent about us as the rest of the family) for years and years and years. Who didn't give a fuck about my family because of some imagine slight or whatever. Who didn't really like us, at all.

So he's been clinging on in all his alcoholic glory, heart attack after heart attack after bypass surgeries after stroke. And now he's dead and my dad sounds pretty... not not happy about it. Which is good for him! And stuff.


So why am I crying? >:(

Comments

[cidercupcakes.livejournal.com]

♥ It sounds like you had a lot of emotions tied up in this dude, even if they weren't good; it's not at all unreasonable to react like this. I have a lot of anger for my surviving grandparent (because, like yours, abusive alcoholic asshole) but if he died there would be a million different things that I was feeling. It's okay to be shaken and upset, even if you don't feel like you're sorry.

[shadowkitty.livejournal.com]

<333333333333333333333333

[livii.livejournal.com]

What the others said. Hugs to you.

[inkdot.livejournal.com]

ilu, bb. ♥

[maddeinin.livejournal.com]

What cidercupcakes said. It's OK to be upset and even sad about what he wasn't for you and your family. ♥

[carpediemchaos.livejournal.com]

As someone above pointed out, you clearly have a lot of emotions tied up in your grandfather. I had a similar experience when my grandfather passed away. It's complicated, messy, and a whole lot of not-fun to deal with, but in time you'll go through that whole grief cycle thing and be stronger for it.

Also, I found that writing a really shitty memoir about that particular family secret (mostly to spite a professor who wanted me to write all about being teh queer, but still) helped sort out some of the feelings.

Give yourself time, and know that it's okay to feel what you're feeling and to cry when you need to. And obviously, you've got lots of friends who are there if you need them. Long lost me included.