The Wanlorn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
the_wanlorn) wrote2008-05-03 10:47 pm
the_wanlorn) wrote2008-05-03 10:47 pm
Entry tags:
In Which Our Heroine Explores Deap Sea Giganticism
Okay, that title is a complete lie. I really just want to talk about colossal squid and how we're all gonna die from them. So. Remember that time there were Giant squid that grew to 13m long? And when you found that out you were kind of disappointed because that's not so giant at all?
Well, it is giant. It's just not colossal.
Meet the Colossal squid. For the longest time, we figured that their max size was about 14m, based on how big juvenile Colossal squid were and how big the biggest squid beak ever found was.
No, seriously. I know, right? I kind of want to be a scientist too, now that I know that they basically get to make shit up when they're bored.
"But Erin!" you say. "14m isn't that big either!"
Well, yes. I know this. And while they've revised their estimate to 15m, that's still not that big. I mean, yes. It's about as big as a Sperm whale. But that's still not really big enough for something like this to happen, and that's all I care about when it comes to big.
The important thing, is that Colossal squid are not like regular old squid or octopuses with the suckers on their tentacles, oh no. You though giant squid were scary with their tooth-lined suckers? Try suckers with swiveling hooks on the end.
Also, you know how other cephalopods have that awesome tentacle they use to fertilize eggs? Colossal squid don't have those. Do you know what this means?
Yes. That's right. Colossal squid peens.
Now, the super-cool thing is that Colossal squid appear to make up the majority of the Sperm whale's diet. NO REALLY. THESE THINGS ARE EPICALLY HUGE. AND SPERM WHALES EAT THEM. FOR DINNER. ALL THE TIME.
"So why aren't we afraid of sperm whales..." you ask.
For a very good reason. And let me tell you, your tone of voice was uncalled for. >:( For one thing, sperm whales are mammals, which means they work like us. And water is buoyant. So if a sperm whale is used to swimming about in water, land gravity would, well. Present some issues, let us say.
Squid, on the other hand, are basically aliens. Which means, as far as we know, they can hover out of the water and float about in the air eating people left and right. Plus, even if they can't get out of the water, do the words ten metre long tentacles mean anything to you?
Yeah. That's what I thought.
(Also, if you would like to see a Giant squid and a Sperm whale fighting, you can see that here. What? Of course it's just a diorama you fool. This is not Bear Vs. Shark. Go away.)
BUT I AM GETTING SIDETRACKED. The entire point of this epic LJ post about shit I am sure none of you care about BUT I CARE DEEPLY, OKAY? SO JUST ROLL WITH IT is that they went and caught themselves a Colossal squid. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS???
...no you sick freak. No it does not mean that we will find out whether or not colossal squid have the biggest peens in the animal world. No. Stop. Just stop. This is a ladysquid. So go be creepy somewhere else.
THIS MEANS THAT SOMEWHERE, IN SOME MUSEUM, THERE WILL BE AN EMBALMED COLOSSAL SQUID ON DISPLAY. WHICH MEANS THAT SOMEWHERE, I AM GOING TO BE SNEAKING UP CLOSE AND TOUCHING AN EMBALMED COLOSSAL SQUID. ASDJKLF;JASLDFJKLASDF;SDKL
Okay, fine. Maybe it doesn't mean thatuntil I am rich and can afford the plane ticket. WTFever. There are things that you need to know about this squid. Namely that its eyes are as big as soccer balls. Do you know how big that is???
Well, yes, you do, because the article provided a handy simile for you.
But seriously. The lens alone is the size of an orange. And in that article, if you go to the second picture, you can see someone holding up both lenses. THEY ARE HUGE MAN. Also gooshy. And look kind of like jellyfish. I want to touch one. Also, that link has a vid so you can see just how insanely huge this thing is.
The article associated with this slideshow just tells you more of the same. But the slideshow is AWESOME. LOOK AT THAT HUNK OF FLESH. OH MAN. SQUID YOU ARE BIG AND SQUIDLIKE. LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT EYE. HOO BOY! ALL THE BETTER TO SEE YOU WITH BEFORE IT RIPS YOUR HEAD OFF WITH THE SWIVELING HOOKS ON THE SUCKERS ON ITS TENTACLES.
O'Shea has previously described the colossal squid, which has razor-sharp swiveling hooks at the end of its tentacles, as "a nasty aggressive sort of squid... a gelatinous blob with seriously evil arms on it."
That's from this article, which pretty much confirms that this particular squid (size estimate ranges from 9m to 10m, depending on the article) is itty bitty compared to what is probably out there. Go back and look at those photos again. That's itty bitty.
Here. Look at its itty bitty swiveling hooks on its itty bitty suckers on its itty bitty tentacles again. Also, that article explains why it's taking forever and ever to thaw it. JEEZ. HURRY UP LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS. DEFROST IT ALREADY.
"It was just this great big brown shape," recalls Bennett, who was watching from the bridge. "It came up right alongside us. Everyone was yelling and screaming."
HEAR THAT YOU GUYS?? THIS SQUID ATTACKED THE BOAT. THAT IS HOW THEY CAUGHT IT. Okay, that might be a lie. But like any of you care. Seriously, we know almost nothing about these things. And this one just said "OH MAN TOOTHFISH! OM NOM NOM" and then wouldn't let it go and now we have a WHOLE ONE to study. DJASKLFJAL;SDF. Also, you know what will be the coolest thing ever? When we finally get a live one. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Also, the way that they measure the lower beak in millimeters doesn't really give you a feel for how friggin' massive the thing's beak is. One of the guys who brought it in was seriously afraid for his forearm. Because the beak was big enough to chomp right through it if the squid decided to put up a fight. THAT IS HUGE.
But eventually, they're going to show the fisherman's video footage that he got of the squid. HOW AWESOME WILL THAT BE??? It will be almost like that time they showed the guys slowly thawing out that mammoth, except even better because it's still alive. :DDDDDDDD THIS IS SO EXCITING. I CAN'T WAIT. OH MAN.
It also kind of sucks, but I don't like thinking about that.
ETA: Forgot a link to the museum's website that has the squid and is doing the thawing and all that. THERE ARE MORE VIDEOS MAN. MORE VIDEOS.
Well, it is giant. It's just not colossal.
Meet the Colossal squid. For the longest time, we figured that their max size was about 14m, based on how big juvenile Colossal squid were and how big the biggest squid beak ever found was.
No, seriously. I know, right? I kind of want to be a scientist too, now that I know that they basically get to make shit up when they're bored.
"But Erin!" you say. "14m isn't that big either!"
Well, yes. I know this. And while they've revised their estimate to 15m, that's still not that big. I mean, yes. It's about as big as a Sperm whale. But that's still not really big enough for something like this to happen, and that's all I care about when it comes to big.
The important thing, is that Colossal squid are not like regular old squid or octopuses with the suckers on their tentacles, oh no. You though giant squid were scary with their tooth-lined suckers? Try suckers with swiveling hooks on the end.
Also, you know how other cephalopods have that awesome tentacle they use to fertilize eggs? Colossal squid don't have those. Do you know what this means?
Yes. That's right. Colossal squid peens.
Now, the super-cool thing is that Colossal squid appear to make up the majority of the Sperm whale's diet. NO REALLY. THESE THINGS ARE EPICALLY HUGE. AND SPERM WHALES EAT THEM. FOR DINNER. ALL THE TIME.
"So why aren't we afraid of sperm whales..." you ask.
For a very good reason. And let me tell you, your tone of voice was uncalled for. >:( For one thing, sperm whales are mammals, which means they work like us. And water is buoyant. So if a sperm whale is used to swimming about in water, land gravity would, well. Present some issues, let us say.
Squid, on the other hand, are basically aliens. Which means, as far as we know, they can hover out of the water and float about in the air eating people left and right. Plus, even if they can't get out of the water, do the words ten metre long tentacles mean anything to you?
Yeah. That's what I thought.
(Also, if you would like to see a Giant squid and a Sperm whale fighting, you can see that here. What? Of course it's just a diorama you fool. This is not Bear Vs. Shark. Go away.)
BUT I AM GETTING SIDETRACKED. The entire point of this epic LJ post about shit I am sure none of you care about BUT I CARE DEEPLY, OKAY? SO JUST ROLL WITH IT is that they went and caught themselves a Colossal squid. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS???
...no you sick freak. No it does not mean that we will find out whether or not colossal squid have the biggest peens in the animal world. No. Stop. Just stop. This is a ladysquid. So go be creepy somewhere else.
THIS MEANS THAT SOMEWHERE, IN SOME MUSEUM, THERE WILL BE AN EMBALMED COLOSSAL SQUID ON DISPLAY. WHICH MEANS THAT SOMEWHERE, I AM GOING TO BE SNEAKING UP CLOSE AND TOUCHING AN EMBALMED COLOSSAL SQUID. ASDJKLF;JASLDFJKLASDF;SDKL
Okay, fine. Maybe it doesn't mean that
Well, yes, you do, because the article provided a handy simile for you.
But seriously. The lens alone is the size of an orange. And in that article, if you go to the second picture, you can see someone holding up both lenses. THEY ARE HUGE MAN. Also gooshy. And look kind of like jellyfish. I want to touch one. Also, that link has a vid so you can see just how insanely huge this thing is.
The article associated with this slideshow just tells you more of the same. But the slideshow is AWESOME. LOOK AT THAT HUNK OF FLESH. OH MAN. SQUID YOU ARE BIG AND SQUIDLIKE. LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT EYE. HOO BOY! ALL THE BETTER TO SEE YOU WITH BEFORE IT RIPS YOUR HEAD OFF WITH THE SWIVELING HOOKS ON THE SUCKERS ON ITS TENTACLES.
O'Shea has previously described the colossal squid, which has razor-sharp swiveling hooks at the end of its tentacles, as "a nasty aggressive sort of squid... a gelatinous blob with seriously evil arms on it."
That's from this article, which pretty much confirms that this particular squid (size estimate ranges from 9m to 10m, depending on the article) is itty bitty compared to what is probably out there. Go back and look at those photos again. That's itty bitty.
Here. Look at its itty bitty swiveling hooks on its itty bitty suckers on its itty bitty tentacles again. Also, that article explains why it's taking forever and ever to thaw it. JEEZ. HURRY UP LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS. DEFROST IT ALREADY.
"It was just this great big brown shape," recalls Bennett, who was watching from the bridge. "It came up right alongside us. Everyone was yelling and screaming."
HEAR THAT YOU GUYS?? THIS SQUID ATTACKED THE BOAT. THAT IS HOW THEY CAUGHT IT. Okay, that might be a lie. But like any of you care. Seriously, we know almost nothing about these things. And this one just said "OH MAN TOOTHFISH! OM NOM NOM" and then wouldn't let it go and now we have a WHOLE ONE to study. DJASKLFJAL;SDF. Also, you know what will be the coolest thing ever? When we finally get a live one. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Also, the way that they measure the lower beak in millimeters doesn't really give you a feel for how friggin' massive the thing's beak is. One of the guys who brought it in was seriously afraid for his forearm. Because the beak was big enough to chomp right through it if the squid decided to put up a fight. THAT IS HUGE.
But eventually, they're going to show the fisherman's video footage that he got of the squid. HOW AWESOME WILL THAT BE??? It will be almost like that time they showed the guys slowly thawing out that mammoth, except even better because it's still alive. :DDDDDDDD THIS IS SO EXCITING. I CAN'T WAIT. OH MAN.
It also kind of sucks, but I don't like thinking about that.
ETA: Forgot a link to the museum's website that has the squid and is doing the thawing and all that. THERE ARE MORE VIDEOS MAN. MORE VIDEOS.
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No, really. For one of my uni classes we were told to do a writing exercise and write about whatever was on our minds. So I wrote this huge rambling essay on how OMG THE GIANT SPIDER CRAB IS SO FREAKING AWESOME AND ALSO, GIANT. And then we were told to pass our writing on to the person sitting next to us so they could offer criticism and suddenly this stranger was reading about fifty million words of GIANT SPIDERS CRABS ARE SO TOTALLY COOL DUDE.
:/ Yeah.
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GOD I LOVE HUGE THINGS.
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WENO, DOOM!COCK MOUSE, WENO.
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Still, I want one like this (http://www.eaudrey.com/myth/images/kraken2.jpg). ):
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Of course, the real danger is having one of them landing on New York.