The Wanlorn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
the_wanlorn) wrote2008-06-17 01:57 am
the_wanlorn) wrote2008-06-17 01:57 am
Entry tags:
Driving Lessons
PROTIP: JUST BECAUSE IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT AND THERE IS NO ONE ELSE ON THE HIGHWAY DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE ALLOWED TO KEEP YOUR GODDAMN HIGHBEAMS ON WHEN ANOTHER CAR APPEARS/PASSES YOU/IS PASSED BY YOU/ETC.
Not only is it not safe because HI BRIGHT LIGHTS MAKE IT HARD TO SEE IN THE DARK, but also NOW I AM FORCED TO TAILGATE YOU FOR MILES WITH MY HIGHBEAMS ON TO TEACH YOU A GODDAMN LESSON.
Funfact: If, when I feel vindicated and stop, it is generally not a good idea to drop behind me and try to pull the same trick on me. NOT ONLY DO I HAVE NO REGARDS FOR MY SAFETY AND AM PERFECTLY WILLING TO SLAM ON THE BRAKES, I AM ALSO PERFECTLY WILLING TO GO OUT OF MY WAY TO DROP BACK BEHIND YOU AND FOLLOW YOU AROUND FOR HOURS AT A TIME. FLASHING MY BEAMS. AND TOOTING A NICE LITTLE SONG ON MY HORN.
(There was not actually any horn tooting because 1) it was almost midnight, and 2) some other asshole blew by us and I had to go deal with him in an appropriately road-ragey manner.)
(In other news, I am in Alabama and there is AC, which my car does not have.)
The only reason why I did not murder anyone because apparently down South the posted speed limit is 70, which made me unbelievably happy.
Not only is it not safe because HI BRIGHT LIGHTS MAKE IT HARD TO SEE IN THE DARK, but also NOW I AM FORCED TO TAILGATE YOU FOR MILES WITH MY HIGHBEAMS ON TO TEACH YOU A GODDAMN LESSON.
Funfact: If, when I feel vindicated and stop, it is generally not a good idea to drop behind me and try to pull the same trick on me. NOT ONLY DO I HAVE NO REGARDS FOR MY SAFETY AND AM PERFECTLY WILLING TO SLAM ON THE BRAKES, I AM ALSO PERFECTLY WILLING TO GO OUT OF MY WAY TO DROP BACK BEHIND YOU AND FOLLOW YOU AROUND FOR HOURS AT A TIME. FLASHING MY BEAMS. AND TOOTING A NICE LITTLE SONG ON MY HORN.
(There was not actually any horn tooting because 1) it was almost midnight, and 2) some other asshole blew by us and I had to go deal with him in an appropriately road-ragey manner.)
(In other news, I am in Alabama and there is AC, which my car does not have.)
The only reason why I did not murder anyone because apparently down South the posted speed limit is 70, which made me unbelievably happy.
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I pretty much save the dangerous shit like tailgaiting for high beams and someone tailgaiting me. For some reason, those two things make me LITERALLY ANGRY WITH RAGE.
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It makes me walk realllllly slowly, because I know they won't actually crash into me. >:( Just beep madly at me because watching a girl scurry out of their way in fear gives them a boner ajdhwlw;rhwe;ekehjeiehekieuw3jueh RAGE.
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>:( SO, JUST SO YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY ARE DRIVING DRIVERS INSANE WITH RAGE WHEN YOU WALK RLY SLOWLY.
Man, the only thing I hate more than pedestrians (or, when I'm the pedestrian, cars) is goddamn fucking bikers. LIKE. WTF. GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLE. YOU DO NOT OWN THE ROAD. I OWN THE ROAD. BECAUSE THERE ARE MORE OF MY KIND. SEE ALSO: BIGGER.
And and and when you're walking!! AND YOU':RE ABOUT TO STEP INTO THE CROSSWALK AND ALL OF A SUDDEN SOME JACKASS ON A BIKE ZOOMS THROUGH AND ALMOST RUNS OVER YOUR TOES. WTAF!!!!!
Sometimes, I wonder what would happen if some douchebag was riding his bike literally in the goddamn middle of my lane, and I just inched up and nudged the back tire with my bumper. *________* I DREAM OF THE DAY I DO THAT.
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Some asshole once beeped at me when I was walking across the road, and the lights were still green for me and red for him. >:( WTF DUDE DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THOSE LIGHTS MEAN. I got so angry about that. Like muttering to myself for the next five minutes angry.
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And then I realized I never replied to your comment. :(
I THINK WHAT WE HAVE LEARNED TODAY IS THAT ALL PEOPLE ARE ASSHOLES, REGARDLESS OF HOW THEY GET AROUND TOWN.
But bikers are the assholiest.
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It was like something out of a horror movie.
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omg speaking of horror movies AND UM HORROR IN GENERAL. [TMI FORTHCOMING] If you are driving through the deserted area that is Tennessee and Alabama, and it is marinara ladysauce tiems so you have that weird crampy-constipated-gassy thing going on, I DO NOT SUGGEST LISTENING TO DREAMCATCHER ON TAPE. JUST... DON'T DO IT. YOU WILL FRET YOUR ENTIRE 14 HOUR DRIVE.
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It was the part where someone sticks a biro in their eye.
:(
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Dreamcatcher is "arguably" (I use airquotes because it's not really arguable, unless all of a sudden you can argue with 100% trufax) King's worst book. It's one gross-out gag after another. There are so many parts that are just "DO NOT WANT".
(RELATEDLY) This one time, I was at lunch with a friend, and she was reading Gerald's Game. So I opened it to a random page and started reading (I'd not read it yet). And it was the part where she basically skins her hand to get out of the handcuffs.
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:
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D:
D:
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OK one of the cats is demanding I go to bed now. NIGHT!!
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hee hee hee
Just sayin'...
Re: hee hee hee
Actually, swear to god, what looks like anarchy in Boston is actually an incredibly complex set of unwritten driving rules, that assures that all traffic flows smoothly and without accident. Which, surprisingly, works, contrary to all appearances.
WHICH IS WHY IT MAKES ME EXTREMELY RAGEFUL WHEN DUMB SHIT OUT-OF-STATERS AREN'T FOLLOWING THE RULES. >:O FFS YOU ARE MAKING ME LATE BUT NOT GETTING ON THE FUCKING ROUND-ABOUT, AND YOU'RE PISSING OFF THE DRIVER THAT LEFT YOU JUST ENOUGH ROOM TO GET ON.
ALSO, WHAT IS THIS GODDAMN MERGING AT 50MPH NON-NEW ENGLANDERS TRY TO DO??? PRO TIP: IF THE REST OF THE TRAFFIC IS GOING 70, YOU ARE NOT BEING ~SAFE~ BY MERGING AT THE SPEED LIMIT. >:O
Re: hee hee hee
WEBS (http://www.yarn.com) is the only reason I would even consider heading back into that state. No bueno, my friend.
Re: hee hee hee
And highways? HA! You need to GUESS which highway you're getting on!!
I had fire patrol dudes forcing me off the road and then calling up their little cop buddies to pull me over EVEN THOUGH I DID NOTHING WRONG.
LOLOLOL SERIOUSLY?? *___________* MASSACHUSETTS, ILU AND YOUR TINY PEEN SYNDROME SO MUCH *___________*
Is it any wonder that my favorite internet activity is trolling? No. No it is not.
Trolls R Us, babeh.
LOLOLOL SERIOUSLY?? Yes, unfortunately. However, since I did nothing wrong, they couldn't give me a ticket. Of course, while I was pulled over, people were driving all kinds of places that were not the road RIGHT IN FRONT OF MR. MAN but noo, they gotta waste their time on me. Somehow I do not feel special.
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My BFF used to say her dad would love driving down south, because they saw the Jersey plates and scrambled out of his way.
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