The Wanlorn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
the_wanlorn) wrote2008-09-15 10:54 am
the_wanlorn) wrote2008-09-15 10:54 am
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wtf how is it you almost all had at least one scenario involving Pyramid Head?
My "Advanced Writing in the Technical Disciplines" prof is hilarious. Unintentionally.
His name is Prof. Akbari, which is close enough to Ackbar no matter what![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
niav says, that I spend the whole class trying to come up with a situation that will make him say "It's a trap!". I'm sure I'll figure out one by the end of the semester.
He places hilarious emphasis on words. Like "the AWD TOOOOOOOLkit" and "LEARRRRRRNing goals"
At one point, he said "Everyone knows about it." (referring to that time Galloping Gertie collapsed) and I came thisclose to saying "Yeah, not knowing about it would be like not knowing that it's a trap."
BECAUSE THAT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT, SEE.
Also, we had to do a bit of writing and one of the questions he asked was what writing experience you have. I DECIDED THAT "SLICE-OF-LIFE ARTICLES FOR A MAGAZINE" IS TOTALLY THE SAME AS "LJ". YES. YES I DID.
STFU You're totally like a magazine audience. FUCK YOU YOU ARE.
Anyway, I did a bunch of answers to yesterday's meme in class this morning. It was a good use of my class time, in my opinion.
rionaleonhart
CKR, Bones and Mulder are interns at Sacred Heart! Give me a quick rundown of their first weeks. Who pisses off the Janitor? Who does Dr Cox get fed up with most quickly? Who does Elliot develop a crush on? (If any of these are actual Scrubs characters, add two and try again.)
Oh jeez. IT WOULD BE A DISASTER. CKR would be sleeping in random places around the hospital because he doesn't have an apartment because he somehow has no money. AS USUAL.
Meanwhile, Bones is pissing off the Janitor by standing up to him and being all "Your tormenting of JD is just a manifestation of blah blah anthropologist shit." Except then he'd develop a huge crush on her because she's pretty and smart. So he'd go back to rousting CKR out of wherever he's sleeping with mop handles in delicate places.
MEANWHILE, Mulder is pissing the fuck out of Dr. Cox during rounds. Because of Scully, he knows what symptoms go with what diseases and shit, but he still manages to come up with crazy shit about how MAYBE IT'S ALIENS. And Cox just does not understand how someone that clearly is less useless than the rest of the interns can be so fucking crazy.
But it's okay, because Elliot has a crush on Mulder! And she's already had sex with CKR because he's sexed up everyone in the hospital pretty much.
BUT REALLY, THEY'D JUST BE RUNNING THROUGH THE HOSPITAL CAUSING CHAOS AND MAYHEM WHEREVER THEY WENT. Mulder would sneak into the psych ward and convince all the patients that alien abductions were why they were crazy, and CKR would try to take a nap in Kessler's office (RIGHT? THAT'S HIS NAME?) and make Kessler pop a blood vessel, and Bones would keep getting called away to go work cases with Booth.
Pyramid Head and Daredevil move in together. What's the first thing they get into an argument about?
IN A WORLD WHERE PYRAMID HEAD DOESN'T IMMEDIATELY RAPE AND KILL EVERYONE HE MEETS...
Since Pyramid Head doesn't exactly have a real job (I mean, you don't get paid for killing people unless you're in the mafia, and they rejected his application after he accidentally cut the head off the boss.) so he can't swing rent in Hell's Kitchen.
So when the landlord who owns the building he's squatting in takes him to court (and he would've just taken care of that little problem, but he was too damn tired from fighting a freaking ninja. A ninja! Maybe the pickings were slim in Silent Hill, but at least they didn't come after you with freaking throwing stars when you're just trying to get some skin to patch your butcher's apron.), Matt Murdock takes on his case.
And since he's not home much (during the day or night) and has plenty of space, he offers to let the dude come stay with him. IDK JUST ROLL WITH IT OKAY.
The first thing they fight about is whether or not it's appropriate for Pyramid Head to drag unconscious bodies back to the apartment for a bit of raping and killing fun. And by "fight" I mean literally fight. They completely trash the place, and in the end Pyramid Head escapes and Daredevil tries to figure out exactly where his life took the turn that had him fighting giant butcher knife wielding half-naked guys with pyramids for heads.
Bruce Springsteen/Jules/Booth: yes or no?
OH MAN THAT WOULD BE AMAZING. Booth would be rather uncomfortable with the two guys and a girl thing due to his INCREDIBLE MONOGAMOUS HETEROSEXUALITY and he would say so and be all "blah blah God blah blah Catholicism blah blah".
And she'd try to be nice about it, she really would, but eventually she'd get fed up and hit him a little. And Springsteen would be all adorable and n00by and do whatever she says. AND BASICALLY, IT WOULD BE ADORABLE AND NOW I KIND OF WANT JULES/SPRINGSTEEN.
soleta
so, Bruce Springsteen, Pyramid Head and Daredevil, how would they do as House's ducklings?
Jesus, wee, this would end horribly. First thing House would do is mock Pyramid Head's head. And then Pyramid Head would kill him. And everyone else. The End.
Okay, except Matt would stop him and immobilize him until the cops came and then House would give everyone the week off because there's no fucking way he's dealing with people after that.
Springsteen would be incompetent but adorable, and try to use the Google machine to diagnose patients. But House wouldn't fire him, because he's Bruce Springsteen. Plus, the two of them rocking out in his office drives Cuddy insane.
Anyway, they wouldn't be doing much work regardless, because House would be fascinated by Matt. Which is why he hired him. Because blind doctor guy. And plus, he'd think it was hilarious to throw shit at him. Matt would put up with it for a while, but he'd get sick of it fast and start catching what House was throwing.
And then House would make Matt his next case because clearly he's not blind, or if he is then something else is going on with him. And then he'd basically slowly drive Matt insane. It'd be awesome.
kisahawklin
Mulder and Daredevil go to Hogwarts. What houses are they assigned to?
Mulder would so be a Hufflepuff. And he'd go around going "This door is gummed shut! MAYBE IT'S GHOSTS!!" and people would go "...yes Mulder, his name is Peeves. We've been over this before." Basically, he'd be Luna, and he'd keep sneaking off into the Forbidden Forest after frumious bandersnatches or whatever.
Daredevil's a Gryffindor because all superheroes who aren't insane (all the time. Temporary insanity like declaring yourself Kingpin and taking over the Kitchen doesn't count) are Gryffindors.
Give me fic! Have Bruce Springsteen seduce Tony Stark. Please.
"Thanks for coming to the benefit, Mr. Stark. I'm-"
"Bruce Springsteen!" Tony cried. "Let's go back to my totally awesome mansion and have sex!"
DUDE, HAVING ANYONE SEDUCE TONY STARK IS RIDICULOUS.
And Pyramid Head giving Abby a new tattoo.
Pyramid Head the tattoo artist. Yes. He'd be an awesome tattoo artist because everyone would be too scared of him to be shitty customers and they'd do exactly what he told him. And so what if he tattooed blood over most of the designs, including tribal symbols? It added style.
So Abby would come in and he'd be working on a new tattoo on her arm or something but then she'd sneeze or something which would make her arm move which would fuck up the tattoo and Pyramid Head would get angry and kill her.
THAT'S HOW ALL PYRAMID HEAD STORIES END.
You're forced to go on a date with Janitor. What do you do?
There would be no forcing man. We'd go get dinner and he would be awesome and make me laugh lots. And then we'd go back to Sacred Heart and rig the doors JD uses to open from the opposite side. And maybe flip them upside down so the handles are in a weird place. And then he'd take my back to his place to introduce me to his squirrel army. And then: sexytiems.
BEST. DATE. EVER.
His name is Prof. Akbari, which is close enough to Ackbar no matter what
niav says, that I spend the whole class trying to come up with a situation that will make him say "It's a trap!". I'm sure I'll figure out one by the end of the semester.He places hilarious emphasis on words. Like "the AWD TOOOOOOOLkit" and "LEARRRRRRNing goals"
At one point, he said "Everyone knows about it." (referring to that time Galloping Gertie collapsed) and I came thisclose to saying "Yeah, not knowing about it would be like not knowing that it's a trap."
BECAUSE THAT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT, SEE.
Also, we had to do a bit of writing and one of the questions he asked was what writing experience you have. I DECIDED THAT "SLICE-OF-LIFE ARTICLES FOR A MAGAZINE" IS TOTALLY THE SAME AS "LJ". YES. YES I DID.
STFU You're totally like a magazine audience. FUCK YOU YOU ARE.
Anyway, I did a bunch of answers to yesterday's meme in class this morning. It was a good use of my class time, in my opinion.
rionaleonhartCKR, Bones and Mulder are interns at Sacred Heart! Give me a quick rundown of their first weeks. Who pisses off the Janitor? Who does Dr Cox get fed up with most quickly? Who does Elliot develop a crush on? (If any of these are actual Scrubs characters, add two and try again.)
Oh jeez. IT WOULD BE A DISASTER. CKR would be sleeping in random places around the hospital because he doesn't have an apartment because he somehow has no money. AS USUAL.
Meanwhile, Bones is pissing off the Janitor by standing up to him and being all "Your tormenting of JD is just a manifestation of blah blah anthropologist shit." Except then he'd develop a huge crush on her because she's pretty and smart. So he'd go back to rousting CKR out of wherever he's sleeping with mop handles in delicate places.
MEANWHILE, Mulder is pissing the fuck out of Dr. Cox during rounds. Because of Scully, he knows what symptoms go with what diseases and shit, but he still manages to come up with crazy shit about how MAYBE IT'S ALIENS. And Cox just does not understand how someone that clearly is less useless than the rest of the interns can be so fucking crazy.
But it's okay, because Elliot has a crush on Mulder! And she's already had sex with CKR because he's sexed up everyone in the hospital pretty much.
BUT REALLY, THEY'D JUST BE RUNNING THROUGH THE HOSPITAL CAUSING CHAOS AND MAYHEM WHEREVER THEY WENT. Mulder would sneak into the psych ward and convince all the patients that alien abductions were why they were crazy, and CKR would try to take a nap in Kessler's office (RIGHT? THAT'S HIS NAME?) and make Kessler pop a blood vessel, and Bones would keep getting called away to go work cases with Booth.
Pyramid Head and Daredevil move in together. What's the first thing they get into an argument about?
IN A WORLD WHERE PYRAMID HEAD DOESN'T IMMEDIATELY RAPE AND KILL EVERYONE HE MEETS...
Since Pyramid Head doesn't exactly have a real job (I mean, you don't get paid for killing people unless you're in the mafia, and they rejected his application after he accidentally cut the head off the boss.) so he can't swing rent in Hell's Kitchen.
So when the landlord who owns the building he's squatting in takes him to court (and he would've just taken care of that little problem, but he was too damn tired from fighting a freaking ninja. A ninja! Maybe the pickings were slim in Silent Hill, but at least they didn't come after you with freaking throwing stars when you're just trying to get some skin to patch your butcher's apron.), Matt Murdock takes on his case.
And since he's not home much (during the day or night) and has plenty of space, he offers to let the dude come stay with him. IDK JUST ROLL WITH IT OKAY.
The first thing they fight about is whether or not it's appropriate for Pyramid Head to drag unconscious bodies back to the apartment for a bit of raping and killing fun. And by "fight" I mean literally fight. They completely trash the place, and in the end Pyramid Head escapes and Daredevil tries to figure out exactly where his life took the turn that had him fighting giant butcher knife wielding half-naked guys with pyramids for heads.
Bruce Springsteen/Jules/Booth: yes or no?
OH MAN THAT WOULD BE AMAZING. Booth would be rather uncomfortable with the two guys and a girl thing due to his INCREDIBLE MONOGAMOUS HETEROSEXUALITY and he would say so and be all "blah blah God blah blah Catholicism blah blah".
And she'd try to be nice about it, she really would, but eventually she'd get fed up and hit him a little. And Springsteen would be all adorable and n00by and do whatever she says. AND BASICALLY, IT WOULD BE ADORABLE AND NOW I KIND OF WANT JULES/SPRINGSTEEN.
soletaso, Bruce Springsteen, Pyramid Head and Daredevil, how would they do as House's ducklings?
Jesus, wee, this would end horribly. First thing House would do is mock Pyramid Head's head. And then Pyramid Head would kill him. And everyone else. The End.
Okay, except Matt would stop him and immobilize him until the cops came and then House would give everyone the week off because there's no fucking way he's dealing with people after that.
Springsteen would be incompetent but adorable, and try to use the Google machine to diagnose patients. But House wouldn't fire him, because he's Bruce Springsteen. Plus, the two of them rocking out in his office drives Cuddy insane.
Anyway, they wouldn't be doing much work regardless, because House would be fascinated by Matt. Which is why he hired him. Because blind doctor guy. And plus, he'd think it was hilarious to throw shit at him. Matt would put up with it for a while, but he'd get sick of it fast and start catching what House was throwing.
And then House would make Matt his next case because clearly he's not blind, or if he is then something else is going on with him. And then he'd basically slowly drive Matt insane. It'd be awesome.
kisahawklinMulder and Daredevil go to Hogwarts. What houses are they assigned to?
Mulder would so be a Hufflepuff. And he'd go around going "This door is gummed shut! MAYBE IT'S GHOSTS!!" and people would go "...yes Mulder, his name is Peeves. We've been over this before." Basically, he'd be Luna, and he'd keep sneaking off into the Forbidden Forest after frumious bandersnatches or whatever.
Daredevil's a Gryffindor because all superheroes who aren't insane (all the time. Temporary insanity like declaring yourself Kingpin and taking over the Kitchen doesn't count) are Gryffindors.
Give me fic! Have Bruce Springsteen seduce Tony Stark. Please.
"Thanks for coming to the benefit, Mr. Stark. I'm-"
"Bruce Springsteen!" Tony cried. "Let's go back to my totally awesome mansion and have sex!"
DUDE, HAVING ANYONE SEDUCE TONY STARK IS RIDICULOUS.
And Pyramid Head giving Abby a new tattoo.
Pyramid Head the tattoo artist. Yes. He'd be an awesome tattoo artist because everyone would be too scared of him to be shitty customers and they'd do exactly what he told him. And so what if he tattooed blood over most of the designs, including tribal symbols? It added style.
So Abby would come in and he'd be working on a new tattoo on her arm or something but then she'd sneeze or something which would make her arm move which would fuck up the tattoo and Pyramid Head would get angry and kill her.
THAT'S HOW ALL PYRAMID HEAD STORIES END.
You're forced to go on a date with Janitor. What do you do?
There would be no forcing man. We'd go get dinner and he would be awesome and make me laugh lots. And then we'd go back to Sacred Heart and rig the doors JD uses to open from the opposite side. And maybe flip them upside down so the handles are in a weird place. And then he'd take my back to his place to introduce me to his squirrel army. And then: sexytiems.
BEST. DATE. EVER.
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This entry made me lol really really hard. I'll have to come up with some questions now.
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But okay do it anyway because you would come up with fun questions. AND YOU WOULD PROBABLY NOT HAVE THE BAD LUCK TO MAKE ME WRITE JANITOR ABUSING DAREDEVIL WHILE CKR LOOKS ON.
Also, sometimes when I'm talking about Psych, I have to stop in the middle and go "Wait, I forget, am I talking about Jules-Jules or am I talking about Psych-Jules. OH GOD THEY BOTH COULD BE IN THIS SITUATION."
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Ahahaha man, the other day someone on the meme :D'd over Roller Derby Jules, and I got SO CONFUSED because I was actually making plans to go to the roller derby. I am clearly just going to have to start watching this show, because LOL.
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(Psych really is awesome everyone should watch it.)
(Epon and I came up with an awesome totally in character marvelous fic in which Jules has to go undercover as a pro Domme and Lassiter keeps showing up at clubs she's at and she's pissed because CLEARLY HE'S CHECKING UP ON HER >:( and totally does not get that he's there for personal reasons.
And then she figures it out and there's lots of sex with her beating on him. IT'S AMAZING.)
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My list is almost done! I keep deciding that some of them are boring and deleting them. HELP ME COME UP WITH MOAR BEFORE I END UP WITH BUFFY ON THERE LIKE FIVE TIMES. I sort of feel like that would be pretty hilarious, though, upon thinking about it.
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DUDE, LET ME JUST SAY, YOUR LIST IS HILARIOUS AS IT IS, BECAUSE YOU HAVE THINGS LIKE PYRAMID HEAD MARRYING PEOPLE.
WHAT THE HELL IS WITH YOU PEOPLE.
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PROFESSOR AKBAR: "Impossible! Our students cannot withstand lecture power of that magnitude!"
DC: "You've got to give them more time!"
PA: "Concentrate all lecture power on that snoozer in the front row!"
PA: "IT'S A TRAP!"
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And House would use that as evidence that HELLO NOT BLIND HE SHOULD BE GETTING SOME RIGHT BY CHANCE and everyone would lol at him and call him a horrible person for calling a poor disabled man a liar and it would be brilliant.
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... It's JD/Janitor only JD is less annyong.
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I NEED THIS LIKE BURNING NOW.
HOLY FUCK.
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
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