Stupid Animals >:(

[the_wanlorn]

My cat is a moron. He cries to go outside all day in Boston. But now that we're in Cowtown? GOD HELP YOU IF YOU TRY TO SHOVE HIM OUTSIDE. DEAR GOD IT'S LIKE I'M TRYING TO KILL HIM.

He's very much obsessed with smelling out everywhere that my parents' cats have been. If you get to close to him he hisses and yowls at you, which is hilarious because if you pick him up he continues to hiss and yowl but he never actually bites or scratches you.

GOD MY CAT IS DUMB.

Anyway, he's very very very loudly telling me how mean I am. We have a very nice conversation of meows going on as he explores the house and shouts to let me know where he is and I meow back just to piss him off.

He's a goddamn tabby cat with the spirit of a siamese. >:(

I honestly might kill him.

Comments

[sadface.livejournal.com]

He's a goddamn tabby cat with the spirit of a siamese. >:(

I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS SENTENCE MEANS

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

TABBY CAT:



SIAMESE:

[sadface.livejournal.com]

IDGI

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

Okay. My cat Murphy is a tabby cat.

But he sounds like a siamese, in that he meows VERY LOUDLY ALL THE FRIGGIN TIME LIKE HE'S TALKING TO YOU and waits for you to respond! And talks back! AND IS ALL AROUND LOUD AT 3AM

[sadface.livejournal.com]

are tabby cats quiet?

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

Yes. All cats are. Except for Siamese.

[sadface.livejournal.com]

YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE EVERYONE KNOWS THIS

_{BTW DIDN'T ACCIDENTALLY KILL ANYONE BY BEING STRESSED AT WORK \o/}

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

EVERYONE DOES. EXCEPT FOR YOU.

[everysecondtues.livejournal.com]

I have to disagree with this comment. That, or my Himalayan and whatever the fuck the orange cats at the house are all think they're Siamese, too. Like, Shinji (the orange cat that was supposedly my brother's) will be all "HI THAR HUMAN. YOU ARE HERE TO PET ME, RITE? AMIRITE?" And Sakura (the orange cat that was supposedly my sister's) is all "NO. ALL HUMANS PET ME. ME. LOOK, HIS NOISES ARE JUST LOUD MEOWS, BUT I TRILL AT YOU EVERY FEW SECONDS LIKE A FUCKING BIRD. BIRDS ARE DELICIOUS. YOU FEEL COMPELLED TO COME CLOSER, WHERE I CAN GRAB YOUR HAND WITH MY CLAWS AND MAKE IT STAY HERE, PETTING ME FOREVER."

Meanwhile, Fletcher (my Himalayan, the cutest, largest, most cowardly cat in the world) just meows at you when you get home to say hi, and then again whenever he thinks you should pet him or he thinks you've forgotten him (i.e. have stopped petting him for five minutes or more) or he wants food or he just wants to be petted while he eats his food (I indulge him in this waaaaaaay too often) or you've closed a door that he thinks he should be able to go through or because he wants to go outside or, or I don't even know sometimes, maybe he is just trying to carry on a conversation. He is the talkiest cat I've ever known.

Then again, our cats could just be really weird.

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

ACTUALLY!

*puts on Science! hat*

That's because the original Himalayans were a cross between a Siamese and a Persian! They got the Persian body and coat, and the Siamese markings and temperament.

And by "temperament" I mean "obnoxious need to talk to you all the friggin time."

WHEN I WAS LITTLE I WAS OBSESSED WITH CAT BREEDS OKAY THIS IS TOTALLY NORMAL KNOWLEDGE TO HAVE :(

[everysecondtues.livejournal.com]

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ORANGE ONES?

And hee, I have super weird knowledge about cats from middle school, too (I wrote a seven page research paper on cats, wtf), so at least yours is useful, whereas I learned things that I wish I didn't know about cats breeding. :(

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

BARBED PENIS

[everysecondtues.livejournal.com]

WE DID PRESENTATIONS AND I TALKED ABOUT THAT IN CLASS. I THOUGHT IT WAS SO COOL AT AGE 11. WTF WAS WRONG WITH ME?

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA I bet the teacher loved that!

[everysecondtues.livejournal.com]

I think I know now why we didn't have presentations the second semester. >_>

[straussmonster.livejournal.com]

Siamese are notoriously talky loud cats, little attention whores.

ILTHEM

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

YOU ONLY THINK YOU DO.

[shadowkitty.livejournal.com]

GTFO OFF LIVEJOURNAL, MUM.

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

>:( ISN'T IT PAST YOUR BEDTIME?

[shadowkitty.livejournal.com]

:( FIVE MORE MINUTES?

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

NO >:( AND NO READING WITH A TORCH UNDER THE COVERS >:(

[shadowkitty.livejournal.com]

BUT IT DOESN'T HURT MY EYES! *SQUINTS*

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

LIAR >:(

[sadface.livejournal.com]

aaaaah, I see! ty ♥

[emiweebee.livejournal.com]

ALASKA!

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

SHE JUST WANTS TO STAY OUTSIDE ;____;

[emiweebee.livejournal.com]

"mee-eee-eh"

my cat kind of sounds like that. Goat-like noises.

[everysecondtues.livejournal.com]

Awww. But you love him despite yourself.

[everysecondtues.livejournal.com]

p.s. He is afraid the cows will eat him. He is right to be afraid.

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

OH GOD THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!

Oh man I left him tied up to a tree, right? Right? In his harness? and my dad was like "lol the cat's in the tree". And I'm all "father I had best go save my idiot cat because surely he will hang himself somehow" and my dad was all "NAH".

WELL. HE TOTALLY DID MANAGE TO GET HUNG UP IN THAT TREE. AND WAS V. V. PITIFUL AnD HANGING THERE BY HIS HARNESS. I had to climb up a ladder to get him down. why is my cat so stupid.





&him;

[everysecondtues.livejournal.com]

I've been feeding the cats at my dad's house while he was away, and they both are supposed to live in the garage with our childhood dog (who is the last of a pack of childhood dogs, because we took in all these strays when I was in elementary school because assholes tend to dump dogs out in the country), but one of them has learned how to use the doggy door. Except. He can't get back in. You'd think he'd have figured out that it works the same BOTH WAYS, but instead he'll hang out by the garage door when he wants back in, mewling pitifully. And then he's all distrustful when you hold the door open, so you actually have to bend down and pick him up and nudge him gently through.

THIS HAPPENS EVERY TIME.

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

AhAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAH

I fucking love stupid cats so much.

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

I do >:( I am a fool like that.