Red Roses and Dead Things by Seanan McGuire

[the_wanlorn]

Right so, whenever I buy something from an... shit, I don't even know what to call it anymore. You know, the people who put out their own music or self-publish their books or shit like that. Whenever I buy something from them, I like to do a review of it so I can either get all y'all to buy their stuff or, you know, get them shunned for life.

I like Seanan, so I'm not going to do the latter to her.

So, what follows is my review of Red Roses and Dead Things by cadhla.

Red Roses and Dead Things by Seanan McGuire

1. "What a Woman's For"

   Consider Dr. Herbert West, M.D. -- he meant well. (I guess.)
   Obsessed with bringing back the dead, a sort of
   Scientific necromancy.
   He wasn't all that sane when we started out,
   But when the dead arose, they put down all doubt.
   There's places men weren't meant to go
   And that's what a woman's for.

   Holy crap does this album start off strong. The tune to "What a Woman's For" is brilliant. It makes me wish I knew more music terms other than "that thing that goes like this:", so I could describe everything I like about this one in detail. But, you know, I especially love the dahdahdahDAHdah part. :D? The harmonies are brilliant and I just wish it had better lyrics.


2. "Silent Hill"

   Tell yourself it's just a game, like truth or dare, or hide and seek;
   You can't be hurt by what's not there, so go ahead now, take a peek.
   Ash to ash and dust to dust, there's nothing here that's safe to trust,
   And what's been broken once can rise a second time, to kill.
   We hope that you enjoy your stay in scenic Silent Hill.

   I absolutely love this song. The feeling you get from the bass is reminiscent of the feeling you get while you're wandering around Silent Hill in the fog and the ashes. Seanan's smoky voice just adds to the overall effect. It's absolutely brilliant.


3. "Protective Coloration"

   So you can call us names, but frankly, we don't care.
   You can count on guts and brains, and we'll count on tits and hair.
   We know when we call for help, the hero will respond --
   Who do you think is gonna come save you?
   It's best to be blonde.

   I'm trying to find something good to say about this song, and um. You guys, I hate this song. I don't like the way it sounds, I don't like the lyrics, I don't like anything about it. :( I can't quite put my finger on why I don't like it, it just rubs me the wrong way.


4. "Oh, Helen"

   I was just an innocent computer science major when we met;
   That's not an oxymoron, I was purely Windows free.
   The day you interviewed me is a day I never will forget.
   I really, truly mean that. I'd need years of therapy.

   Fact: There is no such thing as too many mad scientist love songs. I love this one, just like I love all songs that are ~telling a story~. It's technically a mad science manifesto, but whatever. As far as I'm concerned, it's a love song. Of dubious consent. I love the synth, or whatever is sounding like a synth in it.


5. "Some Girls"

   But if you wanna knock me clean off my head,
   Baby, better rustle up the living dead
   'Cause the only guy I wanna find in my bed
   Is the guy that wants to eat my brain.

   You guys, it's like she wrote a song just for me. This one is just plain amazing. Zombies! Love! What more could I want?


6. "The Black Death"

   The Black Death hit hard in Iceland, and there's something you should know:
   That there are no rats in Iceland, 'cause the temperature's too low,
   And without rats, there's no rat fleas to infect you with a bite,
   So the Black Death had to spread by means beyond their appetite!

   LOOK I HAVE SPENT MONTHS LISTENING TO A SHITTY CON RECORDING OF THIS SONG BECAUSE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. It's seriously the best song I have ever heard and it's sung in the style of "Schoolhouse Rock" which makes it even more awesome. I love it to bits and everyone should listen to it. I'm talking, if I could rip one of these songs and give it to everyone, it would be this one. That is how awesome it is.
   
   Everyone needs a song that educates listeners about the Black Death and how it totally wasn't the Bubonic Plague. Kudos to Seanan for being well-educated!


7. "My Summer Vacation"

   If we can make it through the weekend, there's a chance that we'll survive this,
   And if you really think I mean that, then I've got a bridge to sell.
   We're like a shitty Star Trek spin-off setting sail for cancellation,
   And I wish that we were going to prom, but no, we're going to Hell.

   Look, it's a Buffy song. The tune is okay, you'll either love it or hate it, depending on how you feel about Buffy. Me? I'm ambivalent about it. I have to say, it does hit the right note halfway between lulzy and depressing that the show managed.


8. "Oh, Michelle"

   Oh, Michelle, what the hell
   Were you thinkin' -- were you drinkin'?
   Did you really not believe things could go so, so wrong?
   Oh, Michelle, how the hell
   Can I tell your friends what happened?
   I can barely scratch the surface in this song.

   Definitely the catchiest song. When Seanan was at Boskone, I made a point of memorizing the tune to a different song of hers that she sang because I liked it. "Oh, Michelle", on the other hand, just imprinted itself on my brain. I'd catch myself humming it while I wandered around campus and trying to figure out the fiddle parts in my spare time.
   
   In the end, it's your basic storytelling folk song. I love it to pieces because that's the kind of song I love. If I could, this would probably be one of the songs I brought in to my voice teacher going ":D! :D! I want to work on this!"


9. "Another Mad Science Love Song"

   "Did you betray him?"
   "We are what we are."
   "Did she attack you?"
   "I treasure every scar."

   This is the most adorable song on the album. Two mad scientists, in love. It didn't work out... yet.


10. "Darkness Falls"

    Sit right down and I'll tell you a story,
    Ain't got much grace, ain't got much glory,
    But I swear to God it's true, although I wish it weren't.
    There's a world that most folks never see,
    And you'd best be glad, 'cause it means you're free,
    But one family saw it on the night their Mama burnt.

    Why I love this song: story!, it's fast, it's catchy, it's fun to sing along with
    Why I don't love this song: LOL SPN
    
    I don't quite understand how the song about SPN ended up being one of the most amazing songs on the album, but there you go. I can't stop listening to it, kind of like how I can't stop watching the show.


11. "You Get the Tickets"

    You can keep your dramas -- I'll be misbehavin'
    With Stephen King, John Carpenter and Wesley Craven.
    I don't need a romance, baby, let's not quarrel.
    'Stupid people bite it' is my favorite moral.

    And I think that's a moral we can all agree with, right? This is a cute song, sure, but nothing memorable. It does seem like one of the songs that's going to grow on me so I go from being lukewarm about it to obsessively loving it, like "Four-Color Love" did.


12. "Courting Gifts"

    My boyfriend brings me...zombies.
    He takes 'recycling' to new lows.
    He says that wasting leads to...wanting,
    He's got a point there, I suppose.

    "Courting Gifts" is every inch the 80s woman's love ballad. It's slow and sweet and everything you'd want for describing how awesome your man(/woman/Frankenstein's monster) is. It's not one of my favorite songs on the album, purely because I'm not a fan of the style it's done in. That said, the lyrics almost make up for the way it sounds.


13. "Causes and Effects"

    Little girl in wire-framed glasses;
    No one says she's beautiful.
    But they say that she's a genius,
    Gets the highest grades in school.
    She built a model of the Hubble Telescope
    When she was nine years old.
    She says the only thing about space that scares her
    Is people say it's cold...

    I didn't care for this one at first. On the higher notes, it sounds like Seanan's voice is thisclose to cracking, which really turned me off. The higher notes sound slightly flat to me, too. It's one of the weakest songs on the album, if not the weakest. It's starting to win me over though, because I've fallen in love with the lyrics. Plus, the round of sung during the chorus is starting to grow on me.
    
    The major problem, I think, is that it doesn't seem quite like it belongs on the album. Each of the other songs, save for "The Black Death", is directly related to either mad scientists or horror movies. This one takes a more roundabout route to get to those two themes. It's a nice song, but I think it would have been better saved for a different album.


14. "Red Roses and Dead Things"

    I don't want pearls, I don't need diamond rings,
    All I really want from you is red, red roses, and dead things.

    This song has really grown on me. I started out meh about it, and now I'm completely in love with it and singing it everywhere I walk because it's stuck in my head. I think maybe it Stockholmed me. D:


15. "Dear Gina"

    It's been a long time, Gina, since you came home,
    And things are getting stranger every day.
    They're saying Johnny fell, but I'm not certain.
    I think it's better that you stay away.

    I
    
    LOVE
    
    THIS
    
    SONG
    
    Seriously you guys, this is amazing. It's spooky and sends chills down your spine. The music is perfect, the lyrics are amazing. It's basically everything I could ever ask for in a song. It reminds me a lot of "Creepy Doll" by Jonathan Coulton, except it's actually somewhat scary, not funny. If I had my choice, every song on this album would be exactly like "Dear Gina".


16. "Maybe It's Crazy"

    I like a man who's into working with his hands;
    The kind of guy whose theories no one understands.
    I've got a hunch that I would be just fine
    With the kind of love that's best preserved in turpentine --
    Maybe it's crazy, but baby, love usually is.

    A song all about why mad scientists > all other potential partners. I have to say, I like the version on Pretty Little Dead Girl better. It was faster and, uh, I like fast. This, however, has more of an 80s horror movie feel to it, which I suppose, makes it technically better because that's the feel the song should have, if that makes sense. Plus, it ends with a better mad scientist cackle!


Overall: If I had to give each of Seanan's three albums an A, B, and C, no repeats, then Pretty Little Dead Girl would get a C, Stars Fall Home would get the A, and Red Roses and Dead Things would get the B. It's not her best album, no.

That said, it's totally amazing. There are so many good songs on here. Almost every song either has a rocking tune or rocking lyrics, and the ones that have both are unfuckingbelievably amazing. If I could, I would make each of you buy Red Roses and Dead Things and then listen the fuck out of it.

The songs are catchy. They're fun to sing and fun to listen to. The entire thing is reminiscent of bad 80s horror movies, in a good way. Red Roses and Dead Things is an excellent CD, and you should all go buy it.