Help needed at the bottom.

[the_wanlorn]

I meant to make a post yesterday, but I started working on a powerpoint for a presentation I had to do today, and four hours later I was like ":D I should install this torrent of fonts that I got!" and five and a half hours later (I did other stuff in there too, but I don't really remember it) I had fallen in love with find and realized I had nearly 7000 fonts in my system. It makes searching through in GIMP to find the font I want a pain in the ass. BUT WHATEVER I LIKE TO COLLECT THINGS, INTERNET, AND I LIKE LARGE NUMBERS. SO, THERE YOU GO.

Anyway, my presentation was on the movie Sneakers, so all the titles on the pages were in a font that matched the movie poster (and the color, and the same drop shadow). I learned how to make drop shadows! HOW GREAT IS THAT (shut up, I know that's a basic thing wtfever). And then for the final page I found a font that looks sort of like the font used in the "That's all Folks" at the end of old Looney Tunes cartoons, and learned how to make a path! And align text with the path! THIS IS ALL VERY EXCITING, OKAY.


VS.


IDEGAF that it's not that exact or that someone who actually does this shit often could do it way better than me IT IS CLOSE ENOUGH AND I ROCK.

Suffice to say, by 5:30AM, when I realized I had to leave in seven and a half hours to class to give this presentation, I just went the fuck to bed. And today I remembered why I hate giving presentations with other people, because they do it wrong. I am, apparently, too much of a control freak to let other people do the talking when they're not phrasing things right without, you know, gritting my teeth and looking pissy. YOU GUYS THERE WAS A JOKE THAT WHISTLER WAS LIKE DAREDEVIL, AND SHE WAS LIKE "blah blah Whistler's a daredevil blah blah" AND I WAS JUST LIKE WHAT. Basically, I fail at communication.

ANYWAY. HERE, HAVE MORE ORIGAMI:


Apatosaurus


Brachiosaurus


Dimetrodon


Elasmosaurus


Pteranodon


Quetzalcoatlus


Ramphorynchus


Spinosaurus


Tanystropheus

FINALLY. My bb sister is graduating college in two weekends. I have no money. I can't get her anything. And I just have no fucking clue what I can make her in two weeks. I also hate giving her things because she's hugely judgmental and every time someone gives her a present, when that person is gone she complains about it (like the rest of my family), and idk if you guys know this, but I fucking suck at giving presents, and I fucking hate doing it because I know that whatever I'm giving is stupid and they're not going to like it and they're going to complain about it and seriously when I give someone a present, I can't even be there when they open it without wanting to throw up or take it back and go NEVER MIND HA HA JUST KIDDING HERE TAKE A WAD OF CASH INSTEAD EVERYONE LOVES CASH RIGHT :D? :D? DDDDDDDDDDDD:

(And now there are a handful of you going "Ohhhhhhh she makes so much more sense now.")

I barely ever talk to her (for various reasons that are pretty much summed up in that text message conversation the other week) and I don't really know what she's into beyond the shit she was into when I still lived at home and we were in high school and I don't even know if she still likes that stuff anymore and I'd just make her a boquet of origami flowers like I made for my mum last Mother's Day but I am pretty sure that will be met with "are you fucking kidding"s and implicit "this is what you got me"s.

So, uh. I know that none of you know her so you can't really help me, but help :(

[OH MY GOD GOOGLE CHANGED THEIR SEARCH RESULTS LAYOUT I AM NOT HAPPY WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT D: D: D: D: DON'T THEY KNOW THAT CHANGE IS THE WORK OF THE DEVIL????)

Comments

[mona]

Make her origami in the shape of Bill Hendrickson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If she complains it will only be to try to cover up how she's planning to sleep with it under her pillow.



No but seriously, I have no fucking idea, BB. I get really angry at your family and am all grrr they don't DESERVE presents, grrr, but I know you're going to want to give her something no matter what, so. Make her a scarf or socks or something functional? Even if she complains about the latter, she'll get use out of them so her complaints don't really hold any water.

[the_wanlorn]

NGL I JUST GOOGLED "BIG LOVE ORIGAMI" TO SEE IF THERE WERE ANY PATTERNS. Alas, no.

Yeah, it's totally the "two weeks" thing that's fucking me up. I mean, if I had a couple more weeks, I could throw together some knitting that would be suitable enough for spring/summer and she can go fuck herself if she doesn't like it. ALAS.

ihni. Maybe I'll just make her a box of flowers or something. wtf kind of flowers do you get when you're graduating?

[mona]

Ahhhh yeah I wasn't sure how long those things would take to knit. :(

WHAT ABOUT MAKING HER A BOUQUET OF ORIGAMI BASEBALL BATS AND BASEBALLS? lolol, it would be a creative twist on what you gave your mom for mother's day, and it shows you care about her and her interests. And WHO CARES WHAT SHE SAYS TO YOUR PARENTS ABOUT IT? SHE IS A BILL HENDRICKSON FAN AND SHE'LL BE COMPLAINING TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GLOBAL WARMING. It's the thought that counts, because you're not going to make her happy unless you win the lottery and buy her some trendy expensive teenage BS.

[the_wanlorn]

UH IN CASE YoU HAVE NOT GATHERED YET THAT IS AN EXCELLENT IDEA AND IS WHAT I'M DOING IT :D

[everysecondtuesday]

Does she like dinosaurs? Because seriously, I would explode with joy if I got anything like those pictures.

I am trying to figure out what to get my mother for Mother's Day. She keeps saying that she just wants hugs and for us to spend the day with her, which is not helpful, because I will feel awful if I don't get her anything, even if I know she is one of those rare people who is actually serious when she says that.

[the_wanlorn]

No, because my sister is a terrorist. Like, I am not even kidding, if this was for almost anyone else I'd be able to whip up a handful of origami, chuck it in a box, and call it a day. But she just...idefk. Maybe I can make some baseball shit. :|

Does it have to be something substantial? Because what about those cute coupon things that schools make kids make in, like, kindergarten?

[everysecondtuesday]

I agree with all of mona's latest comment on giving your sister gifts. You can give her a baseball bouquet, and if nothing else, I will appreciate on her behalf, because seriously, origami is awesome.

I am half tempted to sneak to my dad's (despite the fact that going there during the day makes me worry, because it is seriously in the middle of nowhere) and making a bouquet from all of the wildflowers that either grow naturally or are a result of my mom's garden from years and years ago. I think wild animals have been eating all of the tulips, but I'm sure there will be something, IDK.

[the_wanlorn]

I can't figure out why, but there's no origami baseball diagrams in existence. What the hell?

That sounds like an A+ plan!

[cathryne_kelly]

Your sister needs a slap upside the head. But I don't suppose you want to give her that. Not as a graduation present, anyway.

So my suggestion: buy a cheap hardcover used book. (Preferably with a title that will worry or scare her.) Rip/cut out every second page or more. Paint the remaining pages, and glue stuff onto them: newspaper articles, stuff she might like, copies of old photos of her, fortune cookies, whatthefuckever. TA DA ARTISTIC ALTERED BOOK. She'll be too confused to complain.

[the_wanlorn]

:( I try to avoid hitting her because then I get yelled at because I am bigger than her so it is not fair for me to hit her. Even when she deserves it.

That is also a good idea!! :D :D :D MY FLIST IS SO AWESOME.