the_wanlorn | THESE. ARE. CUPCAAAAAAAAAAAAKES.

My new favorite pasttime is making cupcakes, apaprently! Today I tried this vanilla buttermilke cake recipe, although I am going to have to make it again if I want to give it a proper "THIS IS SO MUCH MORE FUCKING AWESOME THAN THE LAST RECIPE" or "oh ew never again" because I was a dumbass and let it mix too long. I really need to stick post-it notes up around the kitchen that are all "DO NOT WALK AWAY" and "REALLY, THE SAUSAGES ONLY NEED FIVE MINUTES ON EACH SIDE" and "FOLDING != MIXING" and "NO YOU CAN NOT MAKE ALFREDO SAUCE WITH REGULAR MILK AND NO FLOUR DUMBASS"

...I might actually do that.

I also made swiss meringue buttercream for the frosting, in a tiny batch, and I have not tried it yet because it turns out I just wanted to make cupcakes, not actually eat cupcakes. YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED AT HOW OFTEN THIS HAPPENS. THAT IS WHY I NEED FRIENDS IN THIS STATE WHO DO NOT MIND RANDOM FOOD. "Oh, you made stuffed eggplant even though you hate 80% of the ingredients, including eggplant? WHY YES WE WOULD LOVE SOME!"

I fucking love cooking, and baking, I just do not actually want to eat anything that is at all fancy (ie, not 90% meat/cheese/carb. Yes, something that is 40% cheese and 40% meat and 20% carb fails this criteria. I am picky, okay??) which is a problem considering how much I love making fancy schmancy things.

I grilled the fuck out of a burger and it was less mediocre than the last time I made burgers! I SEE I AM GETTING BETTER AT THIS!

Internet, I am trying to think of something great to tell you that does not involve food, but I got nothin'. I have spent today reading indie comics, and now I'm watching Pandorum ~~and, man, it is not that great. :( Unless it gets better soon.~~ I LIKE HOW IT GOT BETTER RIGHT AFTER I TYPED THAT. GJ MOVIE GJ.

Cupcake analysis: cupcakes are okay, might be awesome if I hadn't fucked them up. Frosting is good, and sweet, and tasty. I'll have to see if it spreads smoother tomorrow after it's been chilled for a while. OKAY I HAVE LOST ALL ENTHUSIASM FOR THIS ENTRY GOOD NIGHT INTERNET I AM GOING TO DRINK SOME STRAWBERRY LEMONADE NOW AND THINK ABOUT GOING TO BED.

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Hee! There are times when I feel vaguely guilty reading other people's posts about cooking and recipes because I think, "That looks like something interesting to make!!" but then handwave and say, "But I'd never eat it." Which is why I end up having 5 gazillion different versions of stir fry because that? That I will always eat!

(Tonight for dinner, I had tofu, baby bok choy, zucchini, and shiitake mushroom tossed in a garlic-y soy sauce type sauce. It was good.)

I know, right? I drool over recipe blogs, because everything looks so good and I know it will smell so good and then I'll put it in my mouth and want to puke. :( I used to have epic dinner parties when I lived on campus during college (lol three whole semesters) because I'd get to make all the amazing food that I wanted to and never have to eat any of it.

Although half the reason I'm so FUCK YEAH BAKING/COOKING/FOOOOOOOOOD right now is because after more than a year of having trouble just getting up to stick a frozen pizza in the oven, I can finally make stuff again. :D :D :D :D :D :D

(asjd;fkjas;kldf that sounds delicious)

I know! I drool over a lot of recipes on food blogs that use cream, for example but I know. I KNOW. If I actually make the dish that calls for heavy cream? Because it's usually accompanied by tons of butter and other fattening things that sit like lead in your stomach? I'm going to end up nauseous. My stomach is just not used to heavy food like that. Because I pretty much grew up on stir variations and soup. LOL

The cupcakes sounds delicious! My skill with baking extends to buying a box mix and following the directions on the back. HAHA!

Oh man, I am totally that way with solid sugary things (ie, sugar water like soda and koolaid and freeze pops don't do this) where I like "that looks delicious I WILL EAT ALL THE FROSTING IN THE WORLD" and then remember that, oh right, I can only get through a couple bites of something with lots of frosting before I'm all "D: D: D: why did I think this was a good idea."

*\o/* Box mixes are fucking great! It's taken me forfuckingever to be able to make non-box cakes that are moist and light and not barely edible, because that shit takes practice, yo. And sometimes I'm still all "Man, I know I'm supposed to just fold this in, but really, I can totally chuck everything into the mixer and mix the shit out of it, I'm sure!" because I never learn. I've still got a bunch of cake and brownie mix in the pantry. :D :D :D

I like eggplant! Actually, I only really like it grilled so I suggest that. In fact, I had some for dinner. Jason will grill strips and then spread chevre with some fresh chives on one side adn then roll. Very tasty.

sdjklf;ajs;dlkf that sounds so fucking delicious, and yet I know that I'd take a bite and end up trying to hide it in a napkin and pushing everything around on my plate to make it look like I'd eaten some. I do not understand why so much food look so fucking good, and smells absolutely heavenly, and then I put a bite in my mouth and am like "D: WHERE IS THE NEAREST BATHROOM I AM GOING TO HURL" I think my tastebuds are broken.

Huh. Usually you run across that in connection with a screwed up sense of smell but you said yours is okay. Maybe a meds thing?

idk, I've always been like this! It's like something gets scrambled in between my nose and my tastebuds, which is fucked up because isn't most of taste actually smell, so shouldn't it taste fucking awesome if it smells fucking awesome?

BASICALLY, FUCK YOU BODY.

DDDDDDDDDD: Srsly, intelligent design my throbbing appendix.

Perhaps you could be someone's personal chef? Lots of cooking, no having to eat it!

ngl that is totally one of my dream jobs but it's just not something that's practical. :(

I hate it when that happens. :(

Seriously. :( Why are the awesome jobs never common jobs. :(

Because if they were common, the Man would find some way to make them suck?

TRUEFAX TECHNOLOGY 100000000000000000000000%

see: videogame testers

Same problem here! I have a book of cupcake recipes that I want to work through, but the only people who eat them are my sister and her boyfriend. And the three of us can only eat so many cupcakes, especially since I don't even like them much.

I know, right? I love the idea of cupcakes, and I love the first cupcake or two, and then I'm just like ":( WHYYYYYYYYYYY DID I TAKE EIGHT CUPCAKES OUT OF THE FREEZER FOR THIS WEEK I HAD ONE YESTERDAY AND THE DAY BEFORE AND I NEVER WANT TO EAT ANOTHER CUPCAKE AGAIN." And, really "cupcake" can be replaced with any dessert ever.

My freezer is full of cupcakes right now. It is kind of ridiculous.

THESE. ARE. CUPCAAAAAAAAAAAAKES.

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