the_wanlorn

I'm going to be okay.

All along, I'd known I was going to be okay, but I didn't feel like things would get better.

Now I know I'm going to be fine, good even. :-)

I still feel the need to talk to my friends a lot and rehash everything and hear what they have to say, because I'm not over it yet, I just know that I will be soon.

Right now, I don't really want to spend time along cuz I just end up dwelling on things a lot and that's not good, but I'm at the point where I know that in a couple days I'll be over that.

I talked to Sid for a while this morning. He made me realize that, yeah, I lost a lot of stuff. But I gained things, too.

And my friends (that I've gone to) are helpful in different ways, and I've realized that I need them all.

Lexi gives me a sympathetic ear and sympathy when I'm sobbing and trying to talk and it's not really working. When she says something, I believe her because I know she's (sorta kinda inaway butnotreally) dealt with this before. And she sorta knows my mind, so it's not like she doesn't know what I need. Or something like that.

Tom knows what to say to make me feel better (even when he thinks he doesn't). And he lets me cry on him and be utterly miserably and he knows there's absolutely nothing he can do about it but let me talk.

Rosemary has a sympathetic ear and knows what I'm going through in general and specific. So I know that whatever she says worked for her, so maybe it'll work for me too.

Sid makes me think and dif deeper than just surface feelings and surface whys. He makes me find the good things that came out of this and the reasons why it's not my fault. Even if half of them are probably untrue and are just there to make me feel better.

Ariel understands why I need to talk and listens and understands.

My friends are the bestest. :-D

So, I shall spend lots of time around friends this week and then see what happens this weekend. From there, I'll figure out what the hell I'm going to do for October break. And so on and so forth.

Yeah. I'm gonna be all right. And so I'll leave you with some Great Big Sea lyrics.

And I say way-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day
and it's all your state of mind
At the end of the day,
you've still got to say... it's all right.

It's a beautiful day, but there's always some sorrow
It's a double edged knife, but there's always tomorrow
It's up to you now if you sink or swim,
Keep the faith and you're ship will come in.
~Great Big Sea - Ordinary Day~

:-)

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