Why am I so sad?

[the_wanlorn]

When I was little, I used to wake up in the middle of the night and start crying, and wonder if I should go wake up Mum. I never did. When I was going out with Jon, I used to wake up in the middle of the night and start crying, and wonder if I should call him. I never did. Now Mum and I have drifted so far apart that I don't wonder anymore. Now Jon dumped me and I don't wonder anymore. I miss having someone to wonder about. It doesn't matter that I would never have gone to either of them. It matters that now I can't. There hasn't been a twenty-four hour period since sometime in mid-July that I can remember that I didn't cry. I want to travel, but I know I'm never going to. I'm going to turn into my mum, old and bitter, and my children are going to sit in their rooms at night and cry alone because they can't come to me. No one's every online when I really need to talk. I wish I didn't have to be strong.

Comments

[piratezim.livejournal.com]

visit scenic Oklahoma: we have native americans!

[(Anonymous)]

ONLY BECAUSE WE GAVE THEM TO YOU!

--Lando in North Carolina, part of the ORIGINAL home of the Cherokee Tribe!

[piratezim.livejournal.com]

i blame andrew jackson, really

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

At least you shared! :-D

Fred Jones Fan

[gumphood.livejournal.com]

Are you english?

Re: Fred Jones Fan

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

I am English in the sense that my mum's mum's mum was from England.

Re: Fred Jones Fan

[gumphood.livejournal.com]

I see. Bloody brit.

Re: Fred Jones Fan

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

Frickin yankee.

[iheartmunkies.livejournal.com]

You're not going to be your mom. I know that because you and your mom are so incredibly mad different, you cant POSSIBLY be her when you grow up. You're kids are going to come to you when they cry, and cry with you when they break up with their first loves, and you'll feel that mad awesome mother-daughter bond that its unfortunate you didnt get to experience. And they'll have wicked Aunt Lexi to bribe them, if need be ;) Which it wont because you're supah cool!

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

And at least if they can't go to me, they'll be able to go to their super-cool Aunt Lexi. :-D

[iheartmunkies.livejournal.com]

And then I'll MAKE them go to you!