The Wanlorn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
the_wanlorn) wrote2009-10-24 08:47 pm
the_wanlorn) wrote2009-10-24 08:47 pm
WARNING: ABUSE
WOW YOU GUYS
I THOUGHT I WOULD BE ABLE TO TONE DOWN ON THE ANGRY POSTS NOW THAT I'M NOT FULL OF CONSTANT RAGE
But apparently, because so fucking many people are agreeing with this, it needs to be addressed, and I'd like to address it where a conversation can happen instead of a mob mentality dogpile.
THAT SAID you start fucking hating on anonmemes or the like in my comments I'm fucking deleting you comment and banning you from this post because that's not what this post is about.
ARE
YOU
FUCKING
KIDDING
ME
Like, let me lay this out plainly for you in the simplest terms possible: Deciding to stay and endure and look for a way to leave for good is how people end up staying in abusive relationships for their entire lives.
Because, you know what? There's never a "good time" to leave. There's never a time wher you're ready, never a time when you can say with certainty that you'll be all set if you leave, never a time where you feel 10% (or even 80% of 50% or 25%) certain that if you leave you won't end up at a shelter and then right back where you started.
And no, telling people to "just move out" does not help. It's an overly simplistic way of looking at the solution, and while it may start thoughts percolating around in there, someone who is being abused isn't going to leave until it's their idea, if that makes sense. No matter how many fucking people were telling me "You need to leave." "You need to get yourself declared an emancipated minor." It didn't make a difference.
So, no, "MOVE OUT" does not help. But telling people to stay until they're sure that they can make a clean break helps even less. That's just fucking validating that little voice in the back of your head that keeps telling you, "You'll never get away." and "Oh I can't move out yet I don't have enough money saved up." and "It's not that bad, I can wait until I have an apartment." and so on and so forth.
As a friend says, this is "LIKE IF INSTEAD OF THE OBNOXIOUS PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE "GO TO A DOCTOR, GET ON MEDS" SOMEONE WAS LIKE "YOU SHOULD STOP TALKING TO YOUR DOCTORS, THEY AREN'T HELPING YOU, AND MAYBE LIKE JUST GET IN BED AGAIN TILL YOU FEEL READY TO FACE THE WORLD""
I just can't fucking get over that people are thinking this is an A+ plan. What the serious fucking shit is wrong with them?
I THOUGHT I WOULD BE ABLE TO TONE DOWN ON THE ANGRY POSTS NOW THAT I'M NOT FULL OF CONSTANT RAGE
But apparently, because so fucking many people are agreeing with this, it needs to be addressed, and I'd like to address it where a conversation can happen instead of a mob mentality dogpile.
THAT SAID you start fucking hating on anonmemes or the like in my comments I'm fucking deleting you comment and banning you from this post because that's not what this post is about.
YES, IT IS THE SAME, BECAUSE IT MAY NOT BE IN THE BEST INTEREST FOR HER TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. MEME HAS A REALLY REALLY STUPID WAY OF LOOKING AT ABUSE AND SAYING THAT LEAVING IMMEDIATELY > STAYING, ENDURING, AND LOOKING TO FIND A WAY TO LEAVE FOR GOOD, RATHER THAN BEING IN A SHELTER FOR A SHORT WHILE THEN BACK HOME.
ARE
YOU
FUCKING
KIDDING
ME
Like, let me lay this out plainly for you in the simplest terms possible: Deciding to stay and endure and look for a way to leave for good is how people end up staying in abusive relationships for their entire lives.
Because, you know what? There's never a "good time" to leave. There's never a time wher you're ready, never a time when you can say with certainty that you'll be all set if you leave, never a time where you feel 10% (or even 80% of 50% or 25%) certain that if you leave you won't end up at a shelter and then right back where you started.
And no, telling people to "just move out" does not help. It's an overly simplistic way of looking at the solution, and while it may start thoughts percolating around in there, someone who is being abused isn't going to leave until it's their idea, if that makes sense. No matter how many fucking people were telling me "You need to leave." "You need to get yourself declared an emancipated minor." It didn't make a difference.
So, no, "MOVE OUT" does not help. But telling people to stay until they're sure that they can make a clean break helps even less. That's just fucking validating that little voice in the back of your head that keeps telling you, "You'll never get away." and "Oh I can't move out yet I don't have enough money saved up." and "It's not that bad, I can wait until I have an apartment." and so on and so forth.
As a friend says, this is "LIKE IF INSTEAD OF THE OBNOXIOUS PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE "GO TO A DOCTOR, GET ON MEDS" SOMEONE WAS LIKE "YOU SHOULD STOP TALKING TO YOUR DOCTORS, THEY AREN'T HELPING YOU, AND MAYBE LIKE JUST GET IN BED AGAIN TILL YOU FEEL READY TO FACE THE WORLD""
I just can't fucking get over that people are thinking this is an A+ plan. What the serious fucking shit is wrong with them?
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AND WONDERFUL )
AND I WISH I COULD BE AS BRILLIANT AS YOU )
)
)
)
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Sometimes people's stupidity causes me actual physical pain.
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There just isn't winning in these things.
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